An Open Letter to Donald Trump from the Baby You Kicked Out of Your Rally

Follow ➡

How dare you, sir? How. Dare. You. After I patiently sat through your speech, my pants all full of one of my Top 3 All-Time Poops, you decided to kick me out. Because I was crying. Well, I’m sorry, but you are just a very loud and scary man with a great big pumpkin head. And this is coming from someone who lets a vampire teach him how to count.

Add on to that the sheer amount poop in my pants. Which I assure you was an admirable amount. And I poop a lot, sir. I poop so much you wouldn’t believe it. It is truly a remarkable feat that I take pride in and also makes me fussy. So yeah, I cried. I’m a baby. Sue me.